Too fast

This weekend went by really quickly. The hours whizzed by and here I am, getting ready to go to school tomorrow for the millionth time. It's like a never-ending cycle.

So now I have one new reason why spring and summer are awesome: more daylight, meaning I can go out and skateboard more, and also meaning that I would feel warmer and more prepared to work more, and longer days, meaning I get to write and go outside more. (I think that's more than one reason, but whatever. I shouldn't compliment summer too much.)

Time just goes by. Way. Too. Fast. Too often.

Winter break flew by. Seventh grade really did fly by. Sixth grade inched by and yet here I am, an eighth grader, complaining that the year is going by too slowly but too quickly at the same time, slow and quick at different rates and intervals and with different situations. X____X

Sometimes I get a really horrible bout of anxiety of I think too much about the future. I just try to calculate the rest of my high school years, what I'm going to learn in them, what I'm going to wear during them, who I want to meet, what I want to do, where I'll go, and then think some more about what I would do in college, how much I would miss my parents if I attended NYU (it's one of my favorite colleges that I would love to attend), what would happen if I missed my parents when I was across the country, how much I might cry, how much I might consider committing suicide just thinking about things like this, and what would happen after I graduate both high school and college, where I would live, what would happen if I couldn't get a job, or if my house was filled with termites, or something bad happens when I try to get my drivers' license (one of my more prominent fears), or if people that I love die, or if I can't get a boyfriend (not that I need one), or if I can't do anything with my life, or if I can't accomplish any of my dreams -- WHOA. Whoa. Whoa. Stop stop stop stop, stop.

See, this is how I get sick to my stomach. I think too much about things that I'm never going to know about at the moment, and BAM. I'm lying under the covers and crying my heart out (quietly, of course). Other people have immune system problems, or digestive problems, or relationship problems -- but nooooo. I have to have an over-reactive brain that is a problem in itself which keeps thinking about things that are completely rational (in my opinion) but causing me to cry nonetheless!

I should probably just stop thinking altogether. I mean, it's not creating anything good out of the sitch, but creating hundreds of worries and problems that I should not be worrying about! So I think not-worrying and just living is a pretty good idea.

I don't want to go to school anytime soon. But I'll see you tomorrow nevertheless. Tara signing off.

Smile. (or try) (AND STOP WORRYING ABOUT THINGS) (: