Sometimes I just want to sit outside with someone and talk all night

I love people. People are awesome. But at the same time, I dislike people. They're so complicated. And different. And strange. And unique. And nice. And very very unique.

Talking to people, expressing feelings -- it makes me feel "warm and fuzzy" (Seriously, where did that term come from?) But warm and fuzzy is a very good feeling, in my opinion.

Today I feel like I've talked to a lot of people I like, and talked about subjects that I like. Fun. :D It's really amazing how wonderful you can feel just joking around with people, being sarcastic with others, flirting, etc. (Okay, maybe that list is just for me :P) But you get the idea, right? If you're really sad about something, many people are just going to be like, "Oh, just ignore it," "It will get better," "It's going to be alright." But the thing is, sometimes it might not get better too soon, and it might not be alright at the moment. And maybe ignoring the problem will only stress you more. But really, take my advice. Do something you enjoy. Seriously. (Unless you don't have much that you enjoy, in which case I feel sorry for you because I recommend that you have an activity that you enjoy, whether it be singing or dancing or browsing Tumblr.)

:)

So currently I'm looking for good Roleplays that I can join on Tumblr. I've heard that they'll give me a lot of writing inspirations and whatnot.

Peace!

Smile! (:

There's one thing about sports that I hate

Volleyball season during PE is almost always the worst time for my friends and I.

For one, volleyball is my worst sport. Basketball is super fun, soccer is tolerable, and I'm even a bit decent at football. But volleyball? 1) The sun is always somehow in my eye 2) Mostly I stand around doing nothing because all the other sports-over-enthusiastic guys take the lead 3) There ARE sports-over-enthusiastic guys!!!

I am so sick of them, and we've only played two games with them. As aforementioned, I am not the best at volleyball (except for serving the ball, in which case they allow me to do without objections), and so when I fail to hit the ball when I'm expecting someone else to hit it, they yell at me and tell me I suck. (Really.) When I actually manage to hit the ball, it just flies out in the wrong direction (I wonder how that happened) and they yell at me and tell me I suck. (Really.)

AND THERE'S MORE. When our team loses a point or something, they RAGE and EXPLODE and YELL AND SCREAM AND SHOUT and CURSE AND STOMP AND RUN AROUND AND ACT LIKE CRIMINALS OR SOMETHING. >__< My friend said so herself, those guys are most likely the guys who will get arrested after watching a football game in which their team loses or something.

Sighhgh. I kind of want to punch them a lot. But whatever.

Tara singing off.

Smile.

My Dear Apologies.

I can't believe I was too lazy to blog for the last two days!

Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

I would say It's not going to happen again! except for the fact that is will happen again, so yeah.

But let's get this over with.

Paint drips for the month!!

So download it from here or from my Paintdrips Wallpapers page! Whichever floats your boat.

Lately I've been practicing my acting without even thinking about it. If I need to act cool around some guy, I'll do it flawlessly. If I need to pretend that I put money in someone's backpack (to pay them back for something that they don't want to be paid back for), then I'll pretend that I did it, but subtly, and make sure they find the money later. (Whew.) (hehe.)  And, if I need to act confident, I'll do it.

Flawlessly.

I am seriously really amazed at how good I'm getting. (But of course, if I would have to factor in a bunch of TVs and cameras and half the world watching, then of course I'd get a lot worse, but DON'T REMIND ME AT THE MOMENT T___T)

So yeah, anyways, I hope my acting/confidence/talking-to-people skills will further improve.

Ttyl. (Does anyone even say that anymore?)

Smile! (:

Weekly Wham #3

Today I went to a courthouse to take notes and write a report. Most of the people were really kind and nice. But it was kind of scary, seeing that we were in the face of criminals. LOL. But it was fun and we got to meet a Public Defendant, some sheriffs (oops. eheh.), a bailiff, a District Attorney, and a JUDGE. It was really awesome and I wish I could do it again. (Except for the overly-intimidating sheriffs and guard people)

Okay, I'd like to present to you this week's Weekly Wham. The third. :)

I would love a horse/pony/thing like this. Very cute. Spunky. The landscape is beautiful, and it would be awesome to ride this horse through the fields. :) And, uh, hello? Chinese New Year? Today? (Yay!) YEAR OF THE HORSE!! This is going to be a great year, since horses will be considered lucky and I <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 horses. (But not in the omg-why-is-this-thing-so-cute-i-need-one-right-now type of feeling (I hate those people) but the omg-it-would-be-so-healthy-for-me-to-ride-some-and-I-would-love-to-meet-some-of-these-powerful-and-terribly-smart-creatures type of thought.)

This kind of makes me miss summer right now. I. K. R. Tara?? YOU of all people MISS SUMMER??? In case you weren't informed, I hate summer because it's so hot and boring and lazy. But there are still many good things. Maybe I can create an alliance with summer in order to get some warmth into my snot-wracked body. (In case you weren't informed, I'm sick today :P)

This makes me really miss autumn, too. But the bad thing about this is that there are no beautiful landscapes (or horses) such as the ones in this picture anywhere near where I live. I. Need. To. Live. In. Autumn.

Okay, I really need to sleep right now. See you next time!

Smile!

Am I sure?

I'm never sure. Ever.

Maybe I should go watch that movie? Nah, it's probably not any good. But the trailer looked good. And I read the book. The book was good. But movies are never as good as books. On the other hand, I have three hours to kill. But I could be spending that time doing homework...But I would rather watch a movie. But I don't know what to wear to the movie. Nah, the movie's probably really bad. But Rotten Tomatoes said it was good. But nah, I could be writing or practicing my acting in my room. But movies are basically like a documentary on acting. And I do love watching movies. But then again it's no fun if I'm alone...Nah I'll just stay home. Okay never mind I'm going. Oh wait on second thought...

The above = my mind.

Okay, well maybe not as clear and concise as that. Just a little bit more jumbled and words and strings of sentences floating everywhere.

Uuuuuuurrrgggghhhhhhhh

Excuse me. I'm gonna huddle under my blankets 1) because it's cold 2) because I'm tired 3) because I'm sleepy 4) I'm sleep deprived 5) I'm cold 6) I'm hungry 7) oaiejfoisjdflsejlwijemcjweofijweofieowietqweprosi

Tara. Signing. Offffffff.

Smile. But sleep first.

(Let's pretend that this post was posted on 1/29/14)

I always forget to post my post right until the next day arrives. So let's say that I'm sorry and get over it quickly before anyone ever remembers it happened.

Okay. Cool.

So. Like.

How's it going.

Good?

Good.

Okay. Cool.

I need to sleep.

Bye~

Smile~~~~

All I want for Christmas is some sleep

I've been gradually losing sleep ever since the beginning of January. Whether it's because I'm up late reading, playing games, or doing HOMEWORK, my new average time for sleeping is around midnight.

And I'm not proud of that.

I actually like sleeping early. But the thing is, I can't always bring myself to do it. Like right now. It's 10:40, and I still have several pages of homework to do, excluding studying and organizing my messy messy paper-filled binder. So I guarantee I won't go to bed till after eleven.

Tara signing off.

Smile. (:

Showers take too much time

I know what you're thinking -- Eww, Tara doesn't shower at all! Wow, she's so gross I don't ever want to be near her. Like, ever.

Well, tell you what, sometimes I don't shower for several days. Simply because it takes too much time. Too cold. Too much else to do. Too boring. So, dear community, I apologize dearly for wasting about half an hour needing to put water and soap and more water and more and more soap stuff on myself to clean. And I have really long hair, too. So that doubles the amount of time an average person who's in  a rush would take. And plus the water is just soo warm.....and cozy...and I want to stay in it FOREVER and THAT'S THE PROBLEM, THERE, FOLKS. Too warm. Too cozy. Too tempting to just stand in there and SLEEP.

I'm the kind of person who hates idleness. I've been noticing this quality of mine acting up a lot recently. I haven't eaten a single meal without simultaneously reading a book. I've been reading books while sitting in cars for the past twenty years. And if I'm in class, and there's nothing to do? Heck, I'm reading, writing, or drawing up a storm.

And when I'm not filling my time doing something "useful", or giving my brain something to think about, I feel really twitchy and panicky and eugh it doesn't feel too good. If my hands don't have anything to do on the five minute car ride home, I'm aware of that fact for the rest of the day. So excuse me for braiding my hair while being given a lecture in History class. It counts as multitasking. I can listen to you while doing other stuff, you know.

Doing nothing kind of scares me. To me, there's no such thing as sitting back and relaxing unless I'm 1) reading 2) writing 3) drawing 4) crocheting (but while reading, because my eyes don't have anything to do and my brain doesn't either) 5) browsing Tumblr 6) sleeeeeeeeeeping (ooh I love sleeping let's save that topic for another day :3) and YEAH et cetera, et cetera.

I really should sleep now. I just spent the last hour crocheting. I'm suuuch a procrastinator. Probably not as bad as other people. But still. That's a problem I need to fix.

Talk to ya laterz! Tara signing off.

Smile! :)

Appreciate the Little Things (Part 2)

I'm pretty sure I had made another post with the same title.

I think.

Oh well.

Haha. Look at me. So lazy that I had to stick a "Part 2" on the title instead of taking the time to think up a new one.

Anyways.

I bet you're wondering why I felt impelled to put the title as it is.

Well, I'm here to put you at ease.

I've always hated my teeth. I still do, in fact. Don't glare at me, but I always notice other people's teeth, just to see how far away I am from achieving something that would be considered "normal". A lot of friends around me have been getting their braces (finally) taken off, and they're always elated and joyous and overjoyed and it just makes me feel so...powerless? For the reasons 1) this enemy of mine is something that I can't even control 2) this enemy of mine something that everyone will judge me for 3) it's probably going to take a really long while (like, over the "normal" amount of time needed for braces or headgear or whatnot. Ughh. Headgear. *shiver*) AND, 4) I feel like it's only happening to ME!

Half the people around me either have braces or straight teeth, and a time hardly ever occurs in which I see someone with as horrid teeth as I have.

In case you were interested, my teeth are crooked in the way that some top teeth are in front of the bottom ones, but some of the bottom ones are in front of the top ones. And all the teeth in my mouth seem squished together, and some are twisted (crooked, as in the flat part is facing 60 degrees in the opposite direction).

Sighhhhh. Well I guess there's no use complaining. We should "appreciate the little things", as in appreciate how YOU (Yes, you as in you there, reading this post, who has those annoying, heavy little braces) have those metal wires on your mouth and go through all that pain to maintain them, so that you will have good-looking teeth to present yourself with to the world. Some say that looks aren't important. Some say that first impressions aren't important. Let me tell you something. That's incorrect. Looks are everything (to other people), and first impressions are everything (to other people), in the way that other people will judge you for everything about you, your actions, your words, your looks, and that will affect (affect or effect? o-o) how both you yourself and others' projections toward yourself will be.

So all I'm saying is that although things may be painful now, it will turn out positively in the long run. And know that someone (me) envies you. 'Kay? 'Kay.

Smile. No matter how painful it will be.

Better start doing me homework. teehee

So much to do

(Let's pretend that this was posted on Saturday, January 25th, 2014. I didn't have a chance to post until now)

1. Science project on Iridium (due next Wednesday)
2. History Constitution packet (due next Monday)
3. English Anne Frank questions (due Monday)
4. Geometry flashcards (due wednesday)
5. Study Science quiz (Monday)
6. Study English test (sometime next week)
7. Study History test (this Friday)
8. Watch a court case for History extra credit (due next Monday) and plus I have to find out how to spectate a court case anyway, since I was not born with any idea on how to go through this action

Wheeew. I can do it I can do it I can do it

I just needed to keep track of all this stuff. Haha. Stay awesome.

Smile!

Weekly Wham #2

Hey guys! Can't believe I rememembered. :)

This week I was interested in optical illusions. Here are just a few that I found.

I searched up and found plenty of street art illusions, but this one specifically caught my eye. The ripples in the water are realistic, and the reflection of the building looks amazingly good. Although the outer rings is slightly obvious and the sky a little bit too blue, I think it looks perfect and I would love to have one of those in my front driveway.

I'm not sure what's going on in this picture. But I'm sure it's very optical. And illusional.

I love hand art. (Is that what it's called?) And optical illusions. This just makes me marvel at how this is just like 3D painting and modeling, but with much more unique and flexible "clay". So. Cool.

That's it for this week! Come back next Friday for a new three-set of pictures! You can check out last week's Weekly Wham, too.

Smile!

Who would've thought~~ Poem by TC

Who would've thought the world was round
Who would've thought the sun was a star
Who would've thought we'd scale the moon
It happened

Who would've thought we'd have electricity
Who would've thought we could blog on the web
Who would've thought we would be connected from around the world and back around
It happened

Who would've thought the grass would grow
Who would've thought the clouds would move
Who would've thought the rain would leave
It happened

Who would've thought I'd be standing here
Who would've thought you'd be standing here, too
Who would've thought you'd be holding my hand

It
is
happening

-TC

~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~

I don't really know where that came from. But you've gotta admit, as an only once-in-a-month-or-two-good-poem-writer-person, it can't be that bad? hahahaha. But I'm still going to scour through it, comb it, brush it, eat it, digest it, and spit it back out. After all, that's what good writers do.

Please don't copy/plagiarize/use/blurt as your own piece of artwork. I wouldn't grab your masterfully written stories and spit if back out without acknowledging you, would I? (Not that I'd want your stuff in the first place) (Haha ok just kidding) (I'm sure you're a very good person) So if you want to post it on your site or blog or Facebook or whatever and whatnot, please go, "Wow, Tara Chang is such a good writer this poem really touched my heart" or, "^___^ THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU TARA CHANG" or even, "wow this is a piece of crap who the hell is tara chang." Anyyything, as long as you credit me or tell people my name and who the author is or -- I feel like I'm being really nitpicky but OKAY FINE here's the deal -- just don't put it out as your own thing. Kay? Kay.

Smile! (:

Homework is good

Guess who's finally at the library for homework and educational needs??

NOT ME!!

Just kidding.

Maybe.

Okay fine yes I am here at the library.

It's going fine.

Lots.

Of.

Work.

To.

Do.

:)

#Smile

I know, I know

Sorry. Again. For skipping out on you. Again.

See, now you know what I'm really like!

1) Usually don't follow my goals for too long
2) If I follow my goals for an abnormally long amount of time, then there is something wrong with me
3) Chance are I will not follow through those goals, though

BUT WAIT, TARA! YOU CAN CHANGE! FOR THE BETTER!

Uh, sure? Well, I guess, maybe, but --

NO, TARA! YOU CAN DO IT! I BELIEVE IN YOU!

I'm not quite sure about that --

OH NO, TARA! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!

Sigh. Let's drop this subject. Maybe if I forget to post again, I'll just post a picture to make up for it! Yeah!!!! That's a good idea. So I owe you three pictures...Kay.

So a while ago, like back in November, I wrote a History essay regarding the Winter at Valley Forge and other various events of the Revolutionary War. Today I got it back, and guess what -- I TOTALLY ACED IT. I ONLY MISSED ONE POINT BECAUSE OF SEVERAL TINY TINY TINY TINY PROBLEMS, BUT HE LITERALLY PUT AN A++ ON IT AND AN "I'm proud of you"!

I'm probably overreacting, but I have always wanted teachers to see my writing talents abilities, and now someone important has verified it as a good piece of junk artwork! I feel elated.

I should start my workload now. Tara signing off.

Smile! (:

How are YOUR goals keeping up?

I would just tell myself to post whenever I feel like it, but then I would take that power for granted and never post again, "unless I feel like it." On that happy note, I apologize (for the second time) for not posting yesterday.

Writer's block, I suppose. Couldn't think of anything, couldn't see anything that would make a good addition to this blog. Haha. As though this blog is actually useful to someone.

You may have noticed the title at the top of this blog post. Well, my goals have been doing fine, thank you very much. (Except for the fact that I've been watching The Amazing Spiderman all day today (it's amazing, I suggest you watch it if you haven't although I'm sure most of the world has already watched it and thus I am several years late)) (And also for the fact that I wasted a whole day yesterday crocheting a hat that turned out Okay-ly) (Annnnd also for the fact that I am holding off two large homework assignments for tomorrow to do) (For your information, one of them is a several-page History packet about the U.S. Constitution, the other is a Physical Science project on Iridium) (I am mostly excited about the Iridium project because at least it utilizes some form of creativity) (And plus the name of that element sounds cool) (That's why I chose it)

Bye! I'm gonna go to the skating rink now.

Smile! :)

Weekly Wham #1

Guess what? Chicken butt! I've just decided (like, literally, two seconds ago) that I would love to share some of the best wallpapers I've seen for a week. Or maybe even pictures...yeah...pictures are good...

Okay. Scratch that.

(Pretend nothing happened.)

Hey guys! From now on, every Friday, I would like to -- wait, no. I am going to (hah see what I did there?) post three pictures that have intrigued me, that I've seen during the past week. Let's call them Weekly Whams.

And without further ado, here I am, presenting your first ever, Weekly Wham.


(Dramatic music)

Never have I seen such a beautiful, delicious-looking egg, in the entire fourteen years of my existence. I wonder if it will look any better if it's fried. :) The photographer probably found this on his kitchen floor one day and was about to Instagram it but then realized that it was worthy of having this measure of beauty. Great job!

Sorry. I couldn't resist. You know what I think of cellos. (If you don't, then you should get out of here) I could totally begin a rant about what a wonderful instrument the cello is -- but let's not. But a cello + piano building?? This is too much. :3

Uh, dream home? Maybe I wouldn't even be able to live in a house. But living anywhere near this place -- well, it's sorta self-explanatory. Half of me is expecting this to be some sort of 3D-computerized image. But hopefully it's not. And then I'll track it down and find out where it is so I can be there.

That's it for this week. See ya!

Smile. (:

Plop

The days are going by fast. Better hold on tight, folks.

Smile. (:

.__.

I just feel like complaining about all this work I have to do. But I'm not going to! Because I'll be learning and learning is good for me!

I'm so done with this week already. Nonstop flow of stuff to do that I don't necessarily want to do. But I guess it's tiring but worth if. Tara signing off.

Smile. (:

No one's lives are perfect, they may just seem a little better

I've always seen other people with perfect teeth, the perfect grades (seriously, especially when you have Asian friends), the perfect looks, the perfect smile -- pretty much a lot of things I/you wish I/you had.

I've always admired my best friend because she attracts positive relationships so easily it seems like a joke to her, whereas I have to work really hard to 1) get anyone to notice me 2) talk to anyone 3) have them talk back to me after talking to them, and 4) not have them walk away and forget that I ever existed. I mean, she does all of the above so flawlessly I can't even -- and she's got straight A+'s, and a very beautiful house, and a lot of money, and a lot of free time to relax and de-stress.

I never knew that she cried. She cried occasionally because of over-pressuring parents, a lot of depressing thoughts, too much stress, and nagging from aforementioned parents. When I heard this I was really surprised -- her? Stressed? I had always immediately ruled out any form of imperfection of her image in my mind. But now I realize -- people are always hiding something. Even I hide things from everyone.

So think twice before you want someone else's lives. It may be not exactly what you expected. Sure -- he can attract girls like bees to honey, but his parents make him study for subjects that he doesn't even take on a daily basis. And yeah -- she is the school's top track champion, but she is suicidal and wishes that she would stop getting bullied because of her looks. So I'm gonna repeat this -- be careful what you wish for.

*Sighhhhhhhh.* I'm not really sad or anything, just speechless, in a way. Tara signing off.

Smile. (:

Ugh ugh ugh

Too. Much. Work. Already. EEEEEEEeeeeeeek.

Can't talk. Must. Do. Essays. Bye.

Smile. Despite how horrible it all is.

Too fast

This weekend went by really quickly. The hours whizzed by and here I am, getting ready to go to school tomorrow for the millionth time. It's like a never-ending cycle.

So now I have one new reason why spring and summer are awesome: more daylight, meaning I can go out and skateboard more, and also meaning that I would feel warmer and more prepared to work more, and longer days, meaning I get to write and go outside more. (I think that's more than one reason, but whatever. I shouldn't compliment summer too much.)

Time just goes by. Way. Too. Fast. Too often.

Winter break flew by. Seventh grade really did fly by. Sixth grade inched by and yet here I am, an eighth grader, complaining that the year is going by too slowly but too quickly at the same time, slow and quick at different rates and intervals and with different situations. X____X

Sometimes I get a really horrible bout of anxiety of I think too much about the future. I just try to calculate the rest of my high school years, what I'm going to learn in them, what I'm going to wear during them, who I want to meet, what I want to do, where I'll go, and then think some more about what I would do in college, how much I would miss my parents if I attended NYU (it's one of my favorite colleges that I would love to attend), what would happen if I missed my parents when I was across the country, how much I might cry, how much I might consider committing suicide just thinking about things like this, and what would happen after I graduate both high school and college, where I would live, what would happen if I couldn't get a job, or if my house was filled with termites, or something bad happens when I try to get my drivers' license (one of my more prominent fears), or if people that I love die, or if I can't get a boyfriend (not that I need one), or if I can't do anything with my life, or if I can't accomplish any of my dreams -- WHOA. Whoa. Whoa. Stop stop stop stop, stop.

See, this is how I get sick to my stomach. I think too much about things that I'm never going to know about at the moment, and BAM. I'm lying under the covers and crying my heart out (quietly, of course). Other people have immune system problems, or digestive problems, or relationship problems -- but nooooo. I have to have an over-reactive brain that is a problem in itself which keeps thinking about things that are completely rational (in my opinion) but causing me to cry nonetheless!

I should probably just stop thinking altogether. I mean, it's not creating anything good out of the sitch, but creating hundreds of worries and problems that I should not be worrying about! So I think not-worrying and just living is a pretty good idea.

I don't want to go to school anytime soon. But I'll see you tomorrow nevertheless. Tara signing off.

Smile. (or try) (AND STOP WORRYING ABOUT THINGS) (:

I went to OCSA today

Hey! Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I just forgot! Too much to do.

By the way, I am now fourteen. I didn't post this earlier because, well, for some reason it is not safe to put your "real" birthday on the web. My parents act like it's the equivalent of putting a picture of my butt on the internet, so I'll just trust their judgement for now. So yay! I'm a year older. I don't feel older. My birthday wasn't that interesting...and I got as many presents as I had gotten on Christmas (one, and I got a pair of shoes) but no worries! I've written several parts of my stories to suffice.

I went to OCSA today. (Orange County School of Arts) And don't be surprised that I have a lot to say on the subject. It was always one of my favorite/dream schools.

1) The buildings' exteriors and interiors are beautiful, the campus is large and tall and accommodating to me. For some reason I've always dreamed of going to a Hogwarts-like school with numerous hallways and wonderful landscapes and beautiful architecture. (Thanks, books) However I've learned that I will probably never go to a school like that. OCSA is the closest I can get. I've always wished I could explore places that I practically lived in and such. (Sigh)

2) "Rigorous" is a word that I've heard more than once today to describe the Academic program alone. I've been told that there are three blocks of academics per day, which translates to "what you're learning that other people in other schools would learn is so hard and tedious that the best you can do to survive is by taking three classes per day with an extra pocket of time for extra studying, and don't even mention your specialized Conservatories, because we want to create an educational experience that will be supremely beneficial in the long run because OCSA is one of the top schools in the nation!" in my head.

3) Oh man oh man oh man. The Art Conservatories are OCSA's pride and joy. The application process is daunting, and many of the students stay at school until 8:30 at night, for rehearsals or something. And after that they need to go home and do their homework. They might as well set up a boarding school equivalent to OCSA, from what I see. That would be more convenient.

Despite all the inconveniences, I've always loved OCSA. Always always. But I'm pretty sure it's not the right school for me. Sorry, Oshhha! Maybe next time (haha just kidding).

And if you've read any of my earlier posts, you can tell that decision making is not one of my strongest suits. So deciding between the high schools is a pretty big decision for me. (Don't even make me think about deciding on colleges)

Pretty big loss. But I hope it's for the best. Tara signing off, morosely (hehe I love that word).

Smile.

I feel accomplished.

I'm actually not so bad at drawing. Sure, I have never really taken any art classes, and I was equipped with only a 0.7mm lead pencil and a HI-POLYMER eraser, but despite that I have drawn something good that had originated out of a doodle in History!! See what school does to you?

Tara is really tired from all this late night studying. Tara signing off now.

Smile. (:

Hey there, imaginary frenemies!

I just finished my geometry homework...it was really tough but really fun, since I love the parallelogram chapter we're working on at the moment. Just 'cause.

Now for History and Science...

I'm really mad at books right now. I'm reading these wonderful works of YA fiction (>___<) in my spare time, and they are so so so so so so good. But sadly, they only make me wistful at the realization that I will never meet, be like, or even resemble any of these words-can't-say-enough imaginary characters I despise, characters that I have fallen in love with, characters I admire, envy, love a lot, hate a lot, and laugh a lot at. Sometimes I want to live in books. But sometimes I don't. Because I don't want to meet my personal antagonist.

Huh. When you think of it that way, when you will always have an antagonist that will go against everything you do, try to kill you, torture you -- and may it be nature, fate, society, man, or self, authors will make it as horrifying as they can.

But THEN, when you think about it again, this so-called PROTAGONIST is going to somehow DEFEAT that antagonist (or not, in some cases). But in life, sometimes we don't get to defeat that antagonist! So that's what's bugging me -- that these characters -- let's call them my imaginary frenemies -- can kick butt, do things that I will never do, and survive everything and live to tell the darn story! Unfair, much?

Tara is tired. Tara is signing off now.

Oh yeah, if you're wondering what I'm reading, just skimming through these almost-quote-and-quote-little-kid-books about spies and stuff. Gallagher Girls. Except the boy drama is iffy and makes me wanna lose my appetite (probably none of that will ever happen to me). But I'm just sad that my little Kindergarten dreams of becoming a spy are practically ruined, glaring at the odds.

Smile. (Or try, if your frenemies are bothering you, too)

Tonight's gonna be a good night

Today was a very good day. I don't even really know why. My classes were low-key, and just the norm stuff. I got some good books from the library. And my History teacher (who is one of my favorites) actually noticed me today! (yay) Well he actually likes to make fun of students and ask strange questions...but I like to talk to my teachers because inside I feel like, Oh my gosh this person that had been sent from heaven to teach us just talked to me!! ME!!! And they even SAID MY NAME!!! WOWOWOW

For some reason, teachers just don't really notice me. Maybe because I don't talk too much...'cause here's the thing: Somewhere deep in my heart I feel like teachers need to be respected, and they do. But this respect has gone so far that I won't even speak to them unless they acknowledge me, or laugh too loud, or participate in random and not-on-topic class discussions, lest the teacher will be like, YOU. HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OUT OF TURN EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE ELSE IS ALREADY TALKING. I just have an overwhelming feeling to be good at school, which I will always work towards, and I also really want to get to know my teachers well. But I suppose that that won't really work out if I don't even talk to them. Hmmm. That does kind of make sense...

Adults are just so scary. Someone older than me will always hold power, and being an introvert will just make me shrink in that situation. But if I use a few extrovert qualities to get to know some people...then maybe...

Ugh. Too much thinking for one day. Tara signing off.

Smile. (:

Hit with the New Years' Bug

This morning I got to school at 7:30am, when my day starts at 8:00.
I finished my Geometry, Science, and History in two hours!!
I have done two homework assignments that are due next Monday.
My desk is clutter-free and all the stuff on it is straightened out.
I am going to sleep at 10:00 today.

Looks like it's going to be a good year.

My inner mind is face-palming myself.

Tara signing off.

(It'll be funny when the bug wears off)

Smile. (:

The last hours of freedom

The time has come. My winter break will end today, whether I want it to or not. Part of me is urging myself to bring myself back to my schedule or bring my back to "real life", but the other part of me is like "NOOOOOOOO STOP I NEED MORE SLEEP" (although I've been getting about twelve hours of sleep per day).

See, this is what taking breaks from school does to you. Now I'm just sifting through tons of writing advice blogs and blog posts on Tumblr...which distracts me from actually writing my stories. (Haha. I see what I did there.)

Tara signing off.

Smile. (:

"Am I pretty?" My aspect/rant on crooked teeth

I hate it when my galfriends ask other boys, "Am I ugly?" It gets really annoying because the boy feels pressured to say, "Of course not," lest the girl's feelings will get hurt. But no one should ever put themselves down, if only for a minute, just to have others tell them something that they themselves do not believe.

I never thought of myself as pretty. But I never thought that I was ugly, either. I understand how healthy self esteem can be (or not be), so I do try to apply it to most of my everyday life. Crooked teeth is one of the most aggravating problems of myself that I have ever experienced. People always always always always ask me when I'm going to get braces. Always. It is sooooo annoying. "You think I don't see this face every time I look in the mirror?!" I want to shout at them. "You don't think I want braces, either?!"

Please don't be that person. You know who you are. You should at least learn what that person is going through before going to any assumptions about them, at all. For me, my family can't afford braces at the moment. But don't give me pity. I'm almost proud of my ridiculously crooked teeth because it's something unique about me. (This is what going to middle school with crooked teeth does to you T__T)

But please, for the sake of some else's self esteem, do not:
          a) ask when they are getting braces
          b) ask why they don't have braces
          c) say, "Your teeth are crooked."
          d) say, "You have crooked teeth."
          e) say, "Wow, your teeth are really crooked."
          f) point out their crooked teeth
          g) stare at their crooked teeth
          h) CARE about their crooked teeth

In fact, don't even think about it! If you are really SO disturbed by their mouth and SO cannot live without being nosy and wondering about their dental lives, then walk away. You don't know how much better you would make someone else's day. Maybe even compliment their teeth! (I know that a dental compliment is one thing that I have never received) Do the unthinkable. (In a nice way, of course.)

I myself believe that I have a good and friendly personality. (Of course, in the rules of some girls' lives, this is boastful to say. Well, I'M sorry that I'm not following some of your rules. In MY rulebook, I can say whatever I want about myself, as long as it's nothing YOU've ever said.) And this means that you -- as in YOU, you there, reading this post -- YOU should not judge anyone, however they look. Don't even think about it. Please. You could really make someone's day by not judging them. I'm serious.

Haha. Sorry if this post was longer than usual. I just have a lot to say on the subject. I hope you get my message.

Tara signing off.

Smile. (:

I want to build a snowman

I just got home from watching the movie Frozen with my bro and sis. It was great -- the visuals were amazing, the music was really good, but the storyline...man, the storyline.

Okay, where Elsa's ice powers (and by the way, SPOILERS if you haven't watched this movie yet. haha sorry anyways) come from? Why did the parent/king/queen people have to leave so urgently? And their deaths was pretty cliche, and there wasn't even much detail about their deaths to make it not cliche. And wouldn't the kingdom's subjects take more care to ensure that the king and queen did not die on a measly little boat? And what's with the trolls' "love expertise"? Couldn't they have given more details about what they apparently foresaw in the future than sing a song? And by the way, I loved the Hans dude. He was my favorite character, although they made him seem like the 100% evil guy who is always present in little-kid movies. Look here, movie makers. The thing is, people are never going to be 100% good or evil, which they always seem to be in PG rated movies. And yes, they try not to make it seem like that by giving them alibis and sob stories to make them seem poor and helpless and misguided, but sometimes antagonists aren't really like that. Maybe they just want a new girlfriend.

The plot could go a bit more in depth. And that's always my own problem when writing my stories -- deep, unpredictable plots and fleshy, realistic characters and reasonable subplots. Mix it all together and you get something that I would really enjoy.

Try harder next time, Disney.

But I understand that Frozen is a kid's movie (hence the PG) so the thing can't be too complicated...but you get the drift, right? And I love sitting in a dark movie theater in the first place, so that made it all better anyways.

You can never know, with me. (: I give it a 7/10.

Thank those authors

Writing is not easy. Never.

See, you have to think about what to write: plot, characters, themes, settings, introductions, climaxes, resolutions, relationships among characters, cause and effect sequences, conflict, protagonists, antagonists...And so. Much. More. And then you need to know how to write: grammar, sentence structure, flowing writing, spelling, and lots more.

So the other day I was writing a bunch of not-bad strings of words, but my mind was clueless as to where the plotline should proceed. So now I have a great plot that has taken the place of my thoughts on how to write what I want and know I want to write. Every day I either have one or the other.

It's just. Ugh.

So thank authors for the books that you may suppose that they effortlessly produce, when actually it's months and months of hard work.

You can never know, with me.

Paintdrips?!

I guess it's time again to share something new with you.

Paintdrips!

If my theories are correct, I can find a way to allow you to download them as wallpapers, I'm not sure if there's supposed to be specific dimensions for wallpapers, but these are 1366 x 768, if that helps you. Let me know if you would like specific colors or designs or larger picture or whatnot.

I'll be posting one on the first every month. And so, to begin, these three are November and December 2013, and for January 2014. I use the Fresh Paint app on my Windows 8 laptop to produce these images, and I guess you better enjoy them because I worked long and hard on them (aka about five minutes).

Since I can't really paint, these are as close as I can get. Give me suggestions if you've got any. And then just excuse me for trying to chase some dreams. You can never know, with me. (:

View all the ones I've ever done in the Paintdrips Wallpapers page.

My New Years' Resolu -- No. Stop.

Don't even think about it. Unless you really. Are. Going to keep it.

You can never know, with me.